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Archaeological Study

Sorting through all the known facts, beliefs, conjectures and outright lies about Woof-Woofs, the following conclusions are inescapable:

  1. The Woof-Woof is a cave dweller- In a cave in southern Mesopotamia the following drawing was found. The resemblance to the only known photograph is uncanny.


Since this is a drawing, there is no question about the lens cap being in place. The conclusion is inescapable.

  1. The Woof-Woof is a sports fan- In the mythology concerning the Woof-Woof, many cultures have described the creature as the thing that "runs up the elephants elbow when it wrestles". There is no documented sighting of such an event. However, it must be pointed out that in recent history there have been very few instances of elephant wrestling matches. A small faction of archaeologists believe that the Woof-Woof may indeed have been a referee specializing in elephant wrestling.

  2. The Woof-Woof is a Truant Officer- In many cultures, parents have threatened misbehaving children with "If you don't behave, the big, bad wolf will get you!". This is undoubtedly a reference to the Woof-Woof regardless of the misspelling. This has added to the creature's reputation as a mean, surly brute. The conclusion is obvious.